Friday, October 26, 2012

Nooz or Snooze?

Our Atlanta newspaper is fun to have every day, fun to pick up every morning from the end of the driveway and devour with coffee.  There are always topics of interest to spark nice conversations and get the day going well.

We had a subscription for several years.  It was affordable and the delivery was dependable.  It was a good value for the money.  So why on earth would someone want to end such a beneficial arrangement?

I'll tell you why, just as i have told the subscription solicitation department of the Atlanta paper every time they call, which is a mite tedious but i guess they enjoy hearing it:

The dear paper delivery person's car coming into the cul de sac at 4:00 a.m. wakes me up and all the dogs, old people, school kids, working folks and everything else that lives around here.  I hate being awakened like that and then trying to get back to sleep is nearly impossible.  The thought of all my neighbors being disturbed out of their precious rest just so we have a newspaper delivered takes away all my peace of mind and my enjoyment of the paper.

"We get the paper at the store," I say to the salespeople every time they call.  But their records only show that i used to be one of their subscribers; they never note my reason for stopping the paper. 

"What can we do to get you back, ma'm?  We have a GREAT DEAL for you! Three months of seven days a week, including Saturday and Sunday, that's the SUNDAY PAPER, for $10.  No?  Okay, if you will just re-up right now, WE will pay YOU $10! That's right!  We'll send the guy out with the cash right NOW!  You cannot afford to pass up this wonderful offer!  Why, we'll wash your car, sweep your porch, we'll bring in the mail, we'll bring you coffee and doughnuts, we have GOT to get your subscription, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU??!!!....."


Marytoo said...

Wow, your delivery guy must need a new muffler or something. We never heard our delivery guy. Oh...maybe that's because he never came. We would loooove to get the paper, but we've tried getting a subscription a couple of times, and I got tired of calling every single day that we did not get the paper, and then they would send someone out with it, but by that time I didn't have time to read it.

Sterling River said...

You had the opposite problem from me! It's always something...Remember Andy Rooney always had a thing about his own newspaper - even if he was traveling and read the paper wherever he was, he wanted to come home and read every paper that had piled up.