Take Away the Duvet

It's a culture on its own - just like the green ceramic egg for grilling meats; or the insane preoccupation with Volkswagens - it's a down comforter, the DUVET.  Pronounced dooVAY.  So warm, so light.  Like sleeping under a cloud, so unbelievably comfortable.

Each thing you get needs more things to go with it.  The accessories make it better and more fun so you get more out of it.

Don't worry about the pristine snow white fabric - we can buy a duvet cover and then you don't have to clean the duvet.  It's a blanket for the blanket! Just throw the duvet cover into the washer.

Well we didn't know enough about how to wrestle that huge blanket into its envelope, so it was quite a tussle.  Once it was spread into the cover and the edges all matched up, there was no way to keep the comforter from sliding around in there.

There was a lot more cover than there was duvet and the excess bunched up.  It was more difficult to make the bed than ever.  And every morning the entire business was covering more of the floor than the bed.

We now have a duvet cover to donate and a comforter to drop off at the dry cleaner.

Freakin' STRESS Fix

A vivid memory I have, is a meeting where the point of the talk was stress relief. "Many people think they should attend fewer meetings to lessen the stress they are coping with. But it's not the MEETINGS causing stress, it's all the other things in your life you are trying to get done! Just let all those things go and the stress will be alleviated."

Things like paying your bills so you can have AC and electricity and your kids can go to the orthodontist and have food on the table?

"Oh sister, you are lacking faith in Jehovah!"

Really? That's funny, because I just can't remember the last time Jehovah paid my electric bill.

How about eliminating meetings so I can work more hours every week and earn more money and still have twice the energy left at the end of the day - because of NO MEETINGS.

MLM Is Not For MLP

So...multi level marketing. "This product is too good to sell in stores the normal retail way."

What they mean is, the customers also do the marketing FOR the distributor. Plus, typically these products cost 3 times more than they should. WHY, when they are spending nothing to bring this great stuff to market?

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver - MLM's!

Grammaw World

Well, i don't write very often.  Usually things run pretty much the same around here.  Time passes so fast, by the time dinner's over and the dishes washed, it's time to get to bed.  Just like everyone, I suppose.

Air conditioning is miraculous, i'm so glad i don't have to live without it.  This summer has been one of the hot ones.  We have several fans going throughout the house to keep even cooler.

The political scene being so boring has helped me get away from watching TV at all.  In fact i gave my television away and reduced the number of channels that we pay for.  Nowadays i just get my news from the radio and whatever i see on visits to facebook. 

A few things we accomplished this summer, include finding a qualified bass teacher for our granddaughter Zoë, who is studying double bass.  She already is a fantastic musician.  This year she's a junior.  Her 17th birthday is in October, I can't believe it.  She has escaped the terrible brooding, sullen type of teenage-hood and retained her sweet authentic personality in spite of all the unpleasant things she has had to endure in her life.

Granddaughter has many friends and opportunities to enjoy these days, but she never neglects homework and study.  She has so much self-discipline and constantly reviews her goals and challenges herself.

We all have taken up the coloring book craze and everyone has their own.  We share the really good coloring pencils from Prismacolor and it is so fun to sit around the table coloring while we talk.

I've been downsizing just to make it easier to clean house.  We gave away two rustic wooden porch chairs and an area rug tonight.  Printers and dishes, bric-a-brac and lamps, drapes and clothes.  We're never going to have time to sit out on the porch anymore, why keep porch furniture!  The table and umbrella are going tomorrow.

Our 39th anniversary is next week.  Another chance to appreciate the good life we have built together.

Christmas plans begin during Labor Day weekend.  First we get the address list updated for sending cards.  By the end of September we'll have them stamped and ready to mail in early December.

I know what I'm getting for Christmas - Zoë promised to learn touch typing and stop doing the hunt and peck.  She's been resisting for years but we found a good program and she's putting in 10 minutes a day.  I don't understand why they're not offering typing or keyboarding in school, especially since they want to drop cursive handwriting instruction and driver's ed!  Those are the main things people need to know.

Well that's what's really going on in my corner of Earth right now.

Learn How To Recognize a Psychopath!

https://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/

Go to this website and read everything.

Superficial, Mysterious, Congenial - That's What Friends Are Really For

This friend would always be mysterious!

Popular opinion about what friendship means:  Someone who will always be on your side, or always be honest, or always be interested in visiting with you, at the very least.  A Friend with a capital F knows you better than anyone else does, and likes you anyway.

But how much energy does it take to sustain friendships like that?


My husband has a theory about why friendships dissolve.  People try to be sincere and leave off their superficial facade one too many times, and POOF!

So, just accept the facade and don't try to see past it.  Put one on yourself. It's the best way to preserve relationships, if that's your goal.

Learn the TRUTH About the Jehovah's Witness Cult!

This is an article written by (pseudonym) MicaSmith, on the website Jehovahs-Witness.com.  It describes a hellish childhood, a sociopathic mother who is a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses cult, and the attitudes of mentally-controlled, self-styled Christians who praise this evil woman in their midst. 

The Jehovah's Witnesses cult is extremely dangerous.  My family and I were members for thirty years and were fortunate to awaken to that reality.

The links within the article don't work - it was all copied and pasted here. -Marina

Hello, I am new to forum. I want to thank you for allowing me to post my concerns.

You are a lively, intelligent, empathetic community. I have read many of your posts and comments.

I have two concerns that I would like to discuss here.

It is very important for persons to have a place to speak freely. I have not been to the Kingdom Hall

in over a year due to an illness linked to my experiences as a battered child. During this period,

I have also developed a fear of returning. The fear of being in the company of people who do not think for

themselves. I find that many witnesses do not embrace perspicacity they only refer to what's in the

JW magazines. If it isn't printed they don't want to reason on it. They don't take it seriously. I find

this way of functioning weary. I can't live without learning, reading, and applying information sensibly.

Throughout my life, from the age of seven (when I was thrown against a wall because of the way I walked),

I have suffered with debilitating somatic illnesses and neurological challenges. And while that episode at age 7,

was entirely terrifying it was not the worse attack but it is the one that haunts me. It often returns to

me clearly, announced, followed by many other episodes of similar violence. My brain is incapable of stopping

this flow memories and that makes life quite challenging. When the memories come they arrive with every

emotion I felt during those beatings. It took sometime to figure out what was happening to me, but in addition to

my brain challenges, those burst of intrusive memories among other symptoms have been classified as PTSD.

As my siblings and I grew from childhood to our teens, so did the beatings. The instruments and methods

used were carefully selected and the abuse was horrific, much of it was sadistic aggression. This is what

makes it so hard to forget. Trauma doesn't leave the body and brain after abuse, it stays. It lingers.

It takes up residence, as a result, physical pain is the result of painful memories. To add to this, all I have

ever gotten from fellow witnesses who try to pressure me into have a relationship with the person who

abused me is I should put "it" behind me because that person is a Jehovah witness and my mother.

They have ignored the damage done and the health burden I must carry indefinitely.

I have been told countless times by those who advocate for her, (believe it or not) that I should forgive

and forget because according to them, that's what I would want Jehovah to do for me if I had behaved

as she did. But in the bible God has never once forgiven anyone who did not show a thoroughly

remorseful spirit. When he told them they had to express true remorse, he was not talking about

impression management. They had to address the wronged party. They had to develop a spirit

of obedience which included doing all they could to correct or comfort the damaged person.

They could not use excuses to say why they did it, or present themselves as a victim.

They had to own up to their egregious actions. How could persons who go out and teach others the bible

not know this? How could they come up with excuses for the horrific acts of a mother?

How could they come to me, the injured party, to honor her? How can you honor a parent who has

more in common with the devil than with God? Would it not be prudent to protect yourself from that

being? Should you expose yourself to greater harm to please the misguided notions of others?

David went higher up in the mountains, harder to reach, after his peaceful meeting with Saul

because he knew Saul was bent on killing him. Many witnesses can recall and express scriptures

in a scholarly manner but they do not live them. Furthermore, they set common sense aside and

God gave us that too.

As a result they minimized my pain and hardship and focused entirely on a weary concept of forgiveness. 

Not only has my mother, the devoted witness NOT expressed remorse, she is arrogant. She's is a skilled

manipulator having gained the much needed validation for her egotism to flourish. Not only will she never

apologize (something I can attest to after three decades of her absent empathy, guilt, conscience, or remorse),

she also sees herself as the victim. She has tried to squeeze me and my siblings into an entirely different

narrative where she was the victim of jealous family members who tormented her, and caused her to

"act out her frustrations" on her children. It was never her fault. It was her "wicked biological sisters"

and anyone else who tried to make her accountable for being so cruel. And last but not least she drew

on the common enemy, "it was Satan." He tried to destroy her family because she took a stand against him.

But what really sealed the deal and gave her the admiration she sought was when she told them that much

of her hardships with her family was caused by persecution for her religious beliefs. Once she said that

nothing could break through because there is no greater sacrifice.

What's shocking to me is how easily fellow witnesses except that. I can't wrap my mind around their reasoning.

As a result. I have experienced a great deal of misery, even though I am miles away from my mother, do not

communicate with her, and never bring her up to anyone unless it is absolutely necessary, she finds inventive

ways to leak into my life, like a toxin. And why is she doing this? She wants to win the control she feels

robbed of. And, she wants money, things, she sees me as someone to burden with her "alleged" needs,

never mind that she has everything she needs to live a quiet, content life. Never mind that I am already

taking care of my damaged brain, her gift to me. So each time I aided a sibling, (who by the way have

many of health problems I do), she held out her hand too. And overtime she worked on and succeeded

in breaking the bond between my siblings, a bond that was stolen, so that the only person left to ask

for help was her. She has an extraordinary sense of entitlement. She is never grateful. She sets her

sights on more. More, should be her first name.

The abuse never stopped it simply moved from physical and psychological violence, to slander,

division, inciting hate, and enlisting others to promote forgetting and forgiving under the auspices

of pleasing Jehovah.

She claims to be a follower of Jesus Christ. She pioneers and yet she has had no problem NOT

expressing a conscience. What type of person/personality behaves this way? Forensic researcher,

and psychologist, Robert Hare, does a great job edifying the public in his book, "Without Conscience."

But of course unless that is in a JW publication the chances of witnesses reading it are nil.

My Second Concern:

I am deeply troubled by the responses of the governing body towards person who have reported

child abuse.It makes no sense to me that they would not do everything possible to address the

needs of victims. This is an issue very close to my heart. The governing body should do, must

do much more than say "Jehovah abhors child abuse." Their response empowers abusive parents,

and those who sexually abuse children. The Center For Disease Control's studies on this very issue

have shown that there are long term consequences of Child abuse, causing serious, debilitating,

deadly outcomes.

The pressroom section of the JW website speaks of everything except what they are doing to address

child abuse. It's critical situation because right now we can do a great deal to prevent the victimization

of children, and prevent a health burden. Everyone has a role to play in the safety of children. This is an

issue that cannot be ignored. In late 2014 or early 2015 I recalled seeing the FBI Poster of a JW elder

who was among their top FBI fugitives (Crimes Against Children Section). He didn't just abuse children who

were witnesses he also abused children who came into contact with him because of his preaching activities.

What can JW parents do to protect their children.? They can educate themselves on how to spot sexual

predators. Why wait on JW literature to teach that when there are professionals who know a great deal more

about the behavior of sexual predators. Witnesses can also educate their children, there are books to help

boys and girls. Knowledge is power. Seeking non-witness support by is also helpful.

How can witness report sexual abuse anonymously? You can use this resource.

Since Child abuse/maltreatment is preventable, in no way should JWs in a leadership and non-leadership

positions add to the burden it places on society according to the CDC's studies "Child maltreatment is a serious

and prevalent public health problem in the United States. In fiscal year 2008, U.S. state and local child

protective services (CPS) received more than 3 million reports of children being abused or neglected—or about

6 complaints per minute, every day. An estimated 772,000 children were classified by CPS authorities as being

maltreated and 1,740 children aged 0 to 17 died from abuse and neglect in 2008.

I find that fellow witness place Jehovah, God, in a magical box. They conclude every serious matter deserving

of immediate action by saying "Jehovah will take care of it in his time." And, or, "Jehovah will open a door."

And very few see their role in living what he has taught us about acting on the behalf of the lowly.

You can't help but wonder what has fostered that thinking around the world throughout JW communities

because it does not originate with Jehovah, God. It is the kind of thinking that originates with predators,

enablers, and hypocrites, and quite frankly a single person, or body of person could be each of those.

Thank you, for allowing me to contribute to your forum.

Incur Bills - Pay Bills

There is a doctor in our locale who has built a reputation for not paying his bills.  We are one of his victims.

As I looked up his name on the internet to read his reviews, I thought about how much of the time professionals in positions of trust are held up as examples worth following.

But are these exalted individuals entitled to see themselves as exempt from ordinary obligations?

Turns out many people have not been paid for services rendered to this doctor.  Reviews from 2009 and onward sound the warning as to his predilection for making arrangements with tradespeople and then stiffing them without any explanation or returning calls inquiring about a payment timeline.

Included in reviews about him are some loyal patients who stated their opinion that it was nobody's business if he didn't pay his bills - as long as he was providing good patient care!  How many piles of dough are these people sitting on, to where they don't even think businesses should be paid for their services and labor and materials?

As a young person I worked in restaurants and depended on tips to support myself.  To this day my family and I do not choose to dine out if we are unable to leave a proper tip.

By the same token we do not call a painter or a pressure washing service or an electrician or a plumber if we are unable to pay for their services.

Living by this rule is important, to avoid being a hypocrite who wants to be treated better than he treats others.  Treating others as you would wish to be treated applies to all matters and encounters.

Your reputation precedes you and will be around after you're gone, Doctor.  

2016 Is Here

Here we are with The Holidays behind us and already close to the middle of January - time is faster than sliding down an icy driveway.  WHOOSH the wind rushes past my ears.

Our granddaughter, Zoe the STAR, spent a week with us during her Christmas vacation.  Time spent with her is so nice and fun.  She and Papa went to see Starwars in 3D and she helped take down the tree and pack up the decorations.  Now I can't wait for the next Christmas to get here.

Of course this photo is about 9 years old now, but it reminds me of how much fun we have with Terrific Grandkid.