Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Can You Hear Me NOW

OMG it is so embarrassing when you can't understand what the person behind the counter is saying!
My granddaughter and I went to a movie one time, and as we approached the snack counter the young guy said something to me that sounded like this: "Would you like to try one gumby?"
I knew that couldn't be what he said. So I said, "I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I didn't understand." So he did. I heard the same thing. Now inside my head i felt disoriented all of a sudden. I said, "I'm so sorry but I don't understand, what did you say?"
His face reddened, he looked at the other counter person, and then he did repeat it AGAIN to this stupid old woman. I STILL could not guess what he was saying. I kept hearing "gumby." I looked at my granddaughter, hoping for interpretation but she just stared back at me.
Why didn't i just say No thank you??! I was in the most confused state of shock and disbelief, because I could not de-code a communication spoken to me in the English language (I assume it was English!). I had a thought like, What am I going to do, I can't understand what people are saying to me!!!!!
I never had a thing like that happen before. And I'm not very smart anyway. I was not trying to be difficult but that boy just hated me by that time. I was so embarrassed my head was stinging inside.
So finally I just said We'd like M&Ms, and headed into the movie. My granddaughter said, Grammaw what's the matter! I said, I thought he was asking me if I wanted gumby. She said, NO, he asked if you wanted the COMBO.
I said, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?? I couldn't understand what he was saying!!!!! She said, Oh i didn't know WHAT to do!!!
I'm dying laughing as i type this. I haven't been back to that theater since! It happened years ago, when my granddaughter was much shorter than me. Now she's about two inches taller than me. But we still remember and when someone doesn't hear what's said, we all blurt out "GUMBY!"

Friday, July 24, 2015

The Cruising Staph

Okay, i don't mind so much that i can't afford time or money to sail on a cruise. Everytime i hear of someone getting sick while on a cruise ship i say to myself, "Umhmpf!" Here this big business owner and his wife went on a cruise after he had knee replacement. His knee swolled up and they said he had staph. So they had emergency flight off the ship to the hospital. They couldn't operate because he had a heart attack! Now he's on blood thinner and totally iffy condition, not stable. --lesson learned, big vacations are bad for your health. stay home and keep the old rut and routine.

La Boda

April 29, 2011

Well...the Wedding. I woke up late and watched the replays. To me the dress was pretty, the whole look very sensible. She's not filmstar-ish, she behaves her age and suitable for a military wife. Like she's not going to be stupid and have photos turning up in the tabloids years from now showing her to be some kinda nympho.

Poor old horsey Camilla and her dummy husband look like they wanna fade into the background and that's a good thing. The royals are simply a big PR outfit that the whole UK has to buy into, and the youngsters are holding up their end of the family "biz," supported by taxes which doesn't seem to dim anyone's enthusiasm over there, even though they don't have anything to eat except Spotted Richard, and who knows what's even IN that stuff, I'm sure not brave enough to find out.

To Peel or Not To Peel

September 10, 2011
So! those little plastic gizmos to boil eggs in, to keep from having to peel boiled eggs. Have you seen the commercial on tv? Well, Bed Bath and Beyond always has cooking gadgets that are advertised on tv. So we picked up a box of "eggies" yesterday. I boil a lot of eggs and i thought it would be nice to find a way around peeling them. This is not the way, because    1: each "eggie" is made up of FOUR little pieces of plastic. That's 24 new little pieces of plastic in my kitchen to find a home for.  They have to be assembled before use, and disassembled afterwards.  2: Before you crack the egg into the gizmo, you have to coat each side with oil. You can't spray oil directly. Spray a paper towel and then wipe the sides. 3. The chart of cooking times shows how long it takes to soft boil, medium boil, hard boil small eggs, large eggs - ALL the times are much longer than my 3-minute egg. To hardboil a large egg takes over 15 minutes!!!! 4. After the boiling is done, you can't just pop it open - you have to allow it to cool for a few minutes because it releases steam that can burn you!  And they don't tell any of this stuff on the outside of the box.
All of a sudden just setting an egg to boil and then peeling it seems like the easiest thing in the world!

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Be MYOB-istic

Currently the big flap is about the Supreme Court and how they recently voted to legalize gay marriage in all the whole entire United States. 

Many are extremely worried that homosexual people will want to have their unions recognized by the government so they will actually be married, just as heterosexual people do. 

This is perceived as a threat to life on earth as we know it; in other words, if this behavior is allowed to continue there's no telling how awful our living conditions will become.

What can a worried heterosexual do to prevent gay-mageddon?

The answer is in one word made up of initials - MYOB, which means Mind Your Own Business.

Yes!  this revolutionary action can take a horrible big old scary worry and turn it into chocolate air.

How?  By minding our own business we can tend to our own lives and accept the fact that other humans on this planet should live however they want to, provided they don't try to interfere with the way we want to live our lives.  They can marry and carry on sexually with another human being who shares similar plumbing.  They can dance, clean house, work their jobs, eat supper, travel in their car to their relatives' houses for Thanksgiving and have a miserable time, argue about where to have Christmas and whose turn it is to take out the garbage just as all people do.

That's it!  Poof, problem solved.  Wait! you might holler.  What about the matter of God's disapproval of homosexuals and His disapproval of homosexuals getting married?

Cryminattly, you are just making up problems now. Sigh.  Okay, what if somebody is gay and God gets mad because they are getting married to another gay person.  What we can do is, just MYOB.  That way the gay person has to worry about what God might do to them, and we don't have to think a thing about it.

Poof! Problem solved again.

Au contraire, you holler again.  What about the problem of our taxes going up because these gay married couples will want to file their taxes Married Filing Jointly and get more tax deductions and spousal benefits and who knows what-all?! 

Well, I've thought about this a long time and here's what:  It's all gonna balance out so don't worry, just MYOB harder than ever, because:  The more people get married, the more they will support the wedding industry, the housing industry, the furniture industry, the greeting card industry, the food industry, the marriage counselor industry.  We will all make money off this new species of married people!  

Not to mention the fact that since a lot of them will want children to make their lives complete, they might adopt kids who need a home, and that will help the homeless kid industry go out of business.