Sunday, June 28, 2015

Be MYOB-istic

Currently the big flap is about the Supreme Court and how they recently voted to legalize gay marriage in all the whole entire United States. 

Many are extremely worried that homosexual people will want to have their unions recognized by the government so they will actually be married, just as heterosexual people do. 

This is perceived as a threat to life on earth as we know it; in other words, if this behavior is allowed to continue there's no telling how awful our living conditions will become.

What can a worried heterosexual do to prevent gay-mageddon?

The answer is in one word made up of initials - MYOB, which means Mind Your Own Business.

Yes!  this revolutionary action can take a horrible big old scary worry and turn it into chocolate air.

How?  By minding our own business we can tend to our own lives and accept the fact that other humans on this planet should live however they want to, provided they don't try to interfere with the way we want to live our lives.  They can marry and carry on sexually with another human being who shares similar plumbing.  They can dance, clean house, work their jobs, eat supper, travel in their car to their relatives' houses for Thanksgiving and have a miserable time, argue about where to have Christmas and whose turn it is to take out the garbage just as all people do.

That's it!  Poof, problem solved.  Wait! you might holler.  What about the matter of God's disapproval of homosexuals and His disapproval of homosexuals getting married?

Cryminattly, you are just making up problems now. Sigh.  Okay, what if somebody is gay and God gets mad because they are getting married to another gay person.  What we can do is, just MYOB.  That way the gay person has to worry about what God might do to them, and we don't have to think a thing about it.

Poof! Problem solved again.

Au contraire, you holler again.  What about the problem of our taxes going up because these gay married couples will want to file their taxes Married Filing Jointly and get more tax deductions and spousal benefits and who knows what-all?! 

Well, I've thought about this a long time and here's what:  It's all gonna balance out so don't worry, just MYOB harder than ever, because:  The more people get married, the more they will support the wedding industry, the housing industry, the furniture industry, the greeting card industry, the food industry, the marriage counselor industry.  We will all make money off this new species of married people!  

Not to mention the fact that since a lot of them will want children to make their lives complete, they might adopt kids who need a home, and that will help the homeless kid industry go out of business.

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